I want to be stress free, why it is so difficult?

Everywhere and everyone is asking this fundamental question to themselves, still solution does not come.


So many questions arises, but no valuable answer comes. 

First most common hurdle to understand stress and it’s management is, we don’t take it seriously, we prioritise other worldly engagements rather than to see our mental health. Second reason is, vague knowledge, we get from social media, and web, and people around us. Every literature ( religion, spirituality, mythology, and science) has different views about stress and it’s management.


I am following fundamental way of science to help you to understand stress, it’s causes, and it’s management.

Brain, master server of our human body, is controlling and adjusting every function in our body. It may be functioning of heart, our renal system, our reproductive systems etc,.
1.Brain is unique organ that manage every function along with managing his own functions like emotion, feeling, memory decision making, and morality.

I assume healthy body would put less duties on brain and brain would have more time to functions for itself, though this is not proved. So our first understanding should be to keep our body healthy.
  1. It is common observation that different persons reach differently to same situation, this means there is something unique in each different brain. What is it? Let us find, first is your genetics of your brain, second could your past experiences, and third could be society

Let’s go to some serious stuff to understand stress.


While we are in womb of mother, brain starts developing, developing of brain is like intricate web of neurons and their connection. Functioning of neurons depends upon their genes and chemical changes that brings into them. Each individual has different genes and their arrangements and accordingly electrochemical changes. Parts of brain that generate mood, emotions and coping strategies behave in similar passion. When we born, we each carry different and unique mental brain and we as new born follows as mental brain operates.

Our emotions are fixed, our mood and other functions operate as guided my mental brain. As we grow, their is development of brain and mental brain too. Roughly brain stop developing after age of eight or nine. During this developmental phase we all have chances to modify or develop new sets of gene expression and their function, hence childhood age is equally important as our womb age for mental brain development.Childhood trauma, abuse, molestation during this period alter in growth and functioning of our mental brain, hence childhood plays important role for future outcome of mental brain.

As we grew up, we have internal tendency to react or to respond to external environment. Whether you are feeling stress or less stress is more or less decided by your internal brain networking and we have very less control over our emotions and reactions.

Another thing, which can alter our brain chemistry is environmental factions including our social norms. Constant trauma by environment leads to wear and tear of internal brain chemistry through bodily generated changes and it’s effect on brain.


Injury to brain like, physical injury or other diseases of brain can damage or alter functions of mental brain. It could be possible factor in stressful life
Sleep disorders can alter mental brain functioning.

It seems that we our puppet of our brain and whatever we are feeling and expressing is all controlled by our internal genetics and our early childhood experiences or and by our outside environment. This means all we are following destiny though controlled by brain.
Is it completely true or partially true?

Simple way to understand this whole mechanism is Lock and key hypothesis.
Each lock usually has one key. When right key is inserted lock opens up. Similarly, in our mental brain, there are millions of lock, which opens with specific key. For example, you are facing certain situation, now our particular brain locks try to find right key to express itself. Key is controlled by genetics, childhood trauma or environmental factors. When right key is attached lock opens up and you, feel, express in. Certain way. It could be anger, frustration, stress, or whatever outcome after key fits into lock. It means we are destined behave in particular way and it is not in our control to express or feel.

Personality development is play of these various locks and key drama, and we just represent whatever is happening inside.

Let us understand in more simple way.

We routinely use term “ temperament” to define our patience efforts or our reaction in certain way.

In psychological science, temperament hold different view. Temperament according to Psychology, is very first reaction that happens or you experiences in certain situation. For example, someone has altercation with his boss, and his first internal emotion is intense anger or disagreement, but he may behave in calm and composed way to handle the situation and to follow the office rules or social rules. So his temperament is masked by character, he shows up.

Here, temperament is right key to particular lock of that situation but he handle the situation by covering it so called refined character. 

This signify that temperament is more or less remain stable and is different in each individual according to his genetics. We learn to mask our temperament to live in this social or moral world.

Answer is still not that simple but still science has figured out most of it.
As we read earlier that brain stops developing after age of nine or so, science made important path breaking finding that though brain intricate web of neurons can not be completely changed but there is possibility of certain changes, we call it “ Neuroplasicity”. 


Neuroplasticity, means brain has tendency to alter or express its function throughout life, and various medications and alternative medicines can fasten this process and we can achieve desire results. It could be from low mood to normal mood, stressed life to less stressed life or stress free life.

Let us not forget our physical body role in relation to stress. 

Usually in stressful situations, we are fight, or run away. In both cases our body respond through hormones, which can damage our mental brain neurons or alter their function. So healthy body is very important to live stress free life.

How professional calculate our stress level, and how they decide up to what level we can make effective modifications to relieve stress.

As causes are multiple, hence treatment choices are multiple too.

We can not understand each every genes and neurons but we can assess their functioning through psychological test. Identifying different personality type of an individual we can get fair idea how brain is responding to different situations and circumstances. It gives us fair idea of your potential chances of future stress level too.

There are multiple psychological test to identify and diversify causes of stress and effective management.

Certain lab test and other modality help us to find roots of stress and their effective management.

1. Ancient “catharsis” therapy was most common techniques used earlier, fundament behind this therapy was that what ever painful past we hold inside, especially childhood trauma, restrict the growth of new neurons. This happens because intense stimulation of neurons by traumatic events fix neurons to behave in certain way and guide further neuron to behave in same way.

This is most crucial when our brain is developing till the age of nine. During multiple catharsis sessions neurons start behaving in new way and we feel ease out. It is effective if done sincerely and multiple times with patience.
Catharsis can be done by writing, recording and live discussion with therapist.
It is better to consult therapist for proper guidance

2. Hypnosis is another way to heal stress. It is like catharsis but here we press more upon subconscious or unconscious part of mental trauma. Hypnosis is easy than said and newer way of hypnosis has achieved great success.

3. Behavioural therapy where we alter your response or reaction to situation in reflex action and once reflex’s develops we can handle stress better.

4. Biofeedback is yet another way to deal with stress. Though underestimated, very effective.

5. Vague Nerve Stimulation (Read the blog about VNS)

6. Psychotherapy has promising role if done sincerely

7. Medication 
Science has achieved major success to deal with stress. Medications are available with minimal side effects, medicine act fast and give promising results.

Combination of psychotherapy and medication is first rank treatment of stress.

To sum up, stress is integral part of mental brain in response to internal or external changes. Our genetics, our childhood, environmental factors influence future outcome to stress. Understanding changeable and unchangeable factors help to find right solution to deal with stress.

Personality assessment is of major importance to understand solve stress issues. Identification of triggering factors and working upon them makes easy to ease stress. Range of treatment modalities are available to heal stress.

Osho Clinic (Psychiatry & Psychology)
+91-9878645062, 0172-4044716

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